How to Become Mentally Strong? Qualities of Mentally Strong People

how to become mentally strong

In today’s fast-paced and constantly changing world, it’s more important than ever to have mental strength. Have you ever wondered what sets mentally strong people apart from the rest? is it their ability to bounce back from setbacks? or their unwavering focus and determination? 

The truth is becoming mentally strong is not an innate trait that some people are born with, it’s a skill that can be developed and honed over time. Being mentally tough doesn’t mean that you are immune to difficult situations but rather that you have the resilience to navigate them effectively.

Whether you are looking to overcome challenges in your personal life, excel in your career, or simply improve your overall well-being, cultivating mental strength is a crucial component of success.

In this article, I am going to share with you some of the best qualities of mentally strong people and how you can become mentally strong and incorporate these qualities by using some practical ways. So let’s get started…


What does mentally strong mean?

 There is one famous quote –

“You become very dangerous when you learn how to control your emotions”

This reflects the meaning of mentally strong. Mental strongness means at any situation no one could destroy your peace of mind because your feelings are under your control. It is the ability of the mind to handle whatever the situation is good or bad with complete calm and ease. It means adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, and stress.

What does mentally strong means

To understand this let’s see first what physically strong means? Physically strong means the ability of the body to deal with any physical pain effortlessly.

For example – You got injured during a bike accident, definitely, at that time you feel an extreme level of physical pain but if you have the ability to deal with that pain effortlessly due to your strong physical muscle, that means you are physically strong.

Similarly, mentally strong means the person has strong mental or thinking muscles. It’s the ability of the mind to deal with any type of emotional pain effortlessly like family member loss, financial loss, failure in career, etc. It is the ability of the mind to use a solution-oriented approach to any problem in life.

For example – You started a business and within 6 months you completely failed in that, you lost your money as well as time. In this situation, there are two things one can do. 1st one should blame others and get depressed because of failure. 2nd option one should find the reason behind the failure and work on that to restart his business. 

if you are using the second option that means you are following a solution-oriented approach to solving this problem then you are truly mentally strong because of your strong thinking muscle.

Now, let see what mentally strong people do and don’t do which makes them mentally tough!


Things mentally strong people don’t do –

  1. They never waste time feeling sorry for themselves and they are always rude towards themself.
  2. They don’t give away their power means they never allow others to disturb their mental peace.
  3. They don’t shy away from the change, they are always ready to change for the better.
  4. They don’t waste energy on things they can’t control, they always focus on their action, not on their results.
  5. They don’t worry about pleasing everyone.
  6. They don’t fear taking calculated risks, they have strong risk-taking ability.
  7. They don’t dwell on the past. They always believe in the present moment and focus on their action. 
  8. They don’t make the same mistakes over and over. They always learn from their mistakes and execute their learning in action.
  9. They don’t resent other people’s success. They never compare themselves with others, the only competitor they have is their own self.
  10. They don’t give up after the first failure. they have a Never give up attitude.
  11. They don’t fear alone time. They take the advantage of alone time to find their own purpose in life.
  12. They don’t expect immediate results, they believe that extraordinary results take time.
mentally strong people
Do’s and Don’ts of mentally strong people


Things mentally strong people do –

  1. They practice gratitude.
  2. They retain their personal power.
  3. They accept challenges.
  4. They focus on the things they can control.
  5. They set healthy boundaries.
  6. They take calculated risks.
  7. They always focus on the present moment.
  8. They learn from their mistakes.
  9. They create their own definition of success, never follow the crowd.
  10. They view failure as an opportunity for growth.
  11. They set aside time to be alone to find their own self.
  12. They accept full responsibility for their lives.
  13. They practice perseverance.
  14. They break their unhealthy belief and create strong beliefs for them.
  15. They stay true to their values.
  16. They push themselves out of their comfort zone.
  17. They expand their mental energy wisely.
  18. They practice realistic optimism.

With this list, you got an idea about what mentally tough people do and don’t do. (Want to understand more about these do and don’t do list check out this awesome book by Psychologist  Amy morin) If you follow this then you will also become mentally strong.

But following these habits are difficult, we will see later in this article how you can implement these habits in your day-to-day life to become mentally tough. Before that let’s see the qualities of mentally tough people.


Best qualities of Mentally strong people –

We are surrounded by an uncertain world, anything can happen at any point of time. We don’t have control over these things. It is important to learn how to deal with these uncertainties and regulate our emotions to remain peaceful. This is what mentally strong people learned.

Here is the list of qualities of mentally tough people –

Qualities of mentally strong people

1. Mentally tough people are adaptable in their thinking and open-minded to new evidence:

They are not attached to existing beliefs if they found that these beliefs are no longer valid and relevant. They are always ready for the change whether it is a change in thought process or a change in actions.

2. Mentally tough people feel fear but do not let it stop them from moving forward.

Moving forward can be scary and uncomfortable but mentally strong people understand that each and every struggle allows more strength to be gained. Staying fearful doesn’t help you to conquer limiting beliefs about the world. It keeps them real and powerful.

Being brave enough to go against the grain, speak out and stand apart even in the face of opposition and rejection is key to growing as a person and testing your parameters.

We have a great example of Colonel Sanders, founder of KFC chicken during the start of the company at the age of 60 he was rejected 1009 times before finding a taker for his chicken recipe.

After some initial rejection, he was afraid that whether my idea is good or not to start a company but still he moved forward, and finally he got the funding after so many rejections. And now KFC is one of the biggest brands in the world. This happens because of the mentally tough man Colonel Sanders.

Most of our problems are created by our own distorted thinking. We learn by observing our parents and other significant role models in our life. We learn from society and from the media.

Not all of the things we learn are correct or balanced. It pays to be critical thinking – able to evaluate the information for yourself before believing something either way. Instead of believing in some weak thoughts, why can’t we take beliefs from people like colonel sanders, Elon musk, and Einstein, etc.

3. Mentally tough people define themselves:

They do not allow others to tell them who they are, whether they are capable or not nor what is/isn’t possible for them in their lives. Mentally strong people make their own minds up because their opinion of themselves matters more than that of others.

Harvey Fierstein (actor) said that “Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself”, this is what mentally tough people do. They always compare themselves with their past version and at every moment of life, they define goals for themselves.

4. Mentally tough people don’t constantly obsess about being happy:

Happiness can occur when we least expect it. It can also be Volatile. A chemical explosion of endorphins and increased serotonin enabled by a small event such as laughing with a friend or skipping in the park.

Happiness is specific to each individual, not to general consensus. If your idea of pure happiness means sucking pumpkin seeds in your shed on a rainy day, who has the right to deny you that or tell you that that is not real happiness? Be centered and know what brings you happiness but don’t obsess about it. Chasing it seems to make it more elusive.

Mentally tough people know that in most cases happiness is the byproduct of their actions so instead of running behind happiness they focus on their actions or goals.

5. Mentally tough people have strong minds – they don’t blindly follow the crowd.

They break the path followed by the crowd and create their own path towards success. They have a good sense of what is right and wrong. They have the courage to create their own path.

Jack ma failed 20 times in his life before starting Alibaba, he applied for universities, applied for jobs but he failed completely. Even after this much failure, he created his own path and started an online shopping company Alibaba and become the richest man in China. All this become possible because of his mentally tough attitude.

6. Mentally tough people also understand that hatred and resentment don’t hurt the people who are hated:

They only hurt the hater. Empathy and understanding are what separate animals from humans and we should use these skills to help our lives run smoothly. Being judgemental can be toxic leading to bigotry.

Keep an open mind and remind yourself that most people make mistakes. Try not to always think the worst of others. This affects you and your trust in the world, not the people you distrust.

7. Mentally tough people take full responsibility for their current position in life:

They understand that their past choices, thoughts, and actions have put them where they are now. They don’t blame others as they have still made choices, even if they were passive ones.

Swami Vivekananda said that “If what we are now has been the result of our own past actions, it certainly follows that whatever we wish to be in future can be produced by our present actions so take responsibility for the present situation”

He is pointing towards taking responsibility for the present situation of life to build a strong future. Mentally tough people follow the same because they know they are more powerful than anything on this planet, By taking responsibility you can achieve any goal.

8. Mentally tough people believe in continuous improvement.

Continuous improvement in every aspect of life is important whether it could be a career, relationships, business, and health, etc. because by continuously improving ourselves we can achieve the best possible result in any field. 

For example – if you want to reduce your weight from 90 kg to 70 kg then you have to focus on exercise as well as a daily diet. With small improvements in your diet and different methods of exercise, you can reduce weight. 

Mentally tough people have the habit of continuous improvement because they know that small changes make big differences.

Well till now we talked about what being mentally strong means. qualities and habits of mentally tough people etc. But I know it’s not that easy to become mentally tough, you have to do certain things consistently to build strong mental muscles which then increase your mental strongness, it’s a lifelong process.

Now let’s see how to do that…


How to build mental strongness – 

There are certain things that you need to practice to become mentally tough, Let’s see those – 

develop mind strongness


1. Stop seeking sympathy:

We all know that every human’s natural tendency is to seek attention. We all want attention all the time from our friends, family, or life partner. But what happens when you don’t get attention? you feel unhappy.

When you are a young child at that time if you got injured or any unpleasant thing happens to you then your mother or father always provides you sympathy they pay full attention and take care of you until you become normal, they are overprotective all the time.

Because of this habit, our mind registered that we need attention instead of sympathy. So whenever we need other’s attention we automatically want to seek sympathy, it became the habit of our mind.

How do you get sympathy?  like when you fall sick, when you get hurt, when you are in misery, when you are in a problematic situation. So in all these situations, our mind triggers the habit of attention-seeking which means our mind is an attention seeker, not a sympathy seeker.

This childhood habit destroys our mental toughness so it is very important to get rid of this habit to become mentally tough. How we can remove this habit?

Very easy, stop sharing your small problems with others. There are lots of problems we face in our daily life like personal problems, workload stress, minor headache or health problems, relationship problems, etc. Never share these small problems of your life with others.

Yes, but if you have a big problem like a health issue then visit the doctor and take medicine for that. If you have a career problem then find a mentor take a consultation with them. If you have relationship problems then discuss them with your partner. So for big problems find a solution and get rid of it.

The point which I want to mention here is that don’t make small problems big by continuously thinking about that problem in your mind like oh my god, I am too tired. I am not feeling well due to a headache, instead of repeating these thoughts in your mind, just go and take a rest.

So if you have problems find the solution for them instead of seeking sympathy from others. This attention-seeking habit damages your mind’s toughness completely. Hence by implementing a solution-oriented approach to all problems in life you can build a strong mind.


2. Stop self-pity –

Self-pity is a feeling of unhappiness that you have about yourself and your problems. Most of the time, you have this feeling when you are alone.

You feel like why this happened to me? why do people do bad to me? why is God doing this bad to me? why I don’t have enough money? etc. In all these cases you are feeling bad about your own problems and yourself.

But in reality, no one on this planet is free of problems, everybody has their own problems like some are facing a health issues, some are facing financial issues, some facing relationship issues, etc.

So keep in your mind that problems are a part of life. It’s not only you who is facing these problems, everybody is going through different problems at different stages of life. 

Due to this self pitty habit of thinking, you will start feeling like a victim of all problems, your mindset changes to a victim mindset. you start thinking like I am the only one facing these many problems in life. Then it becomes very difficult to implement a solution-oriented approach to life problems.

See here I am not telling you that you should never be sad or unhappy, it is ok to be sad but never makes that sadness big in your mind if you want to become successful in life.

Because this habit of self-pity makes your mind weak and your mind unable to find a solution to your life problems. Hence stop complaining about life problems and instead of that face them like a warrior and find a solution for them. Over time this will make your mind strong.


3. Stop seeking help-

You should stop taking help from others for small daily tasks and do them by yourself. You should rely more on yourself for your daily activities like cleaning your room, making the bed, washing plates after breakfast, taking care of your health, purchasing groceries, etc. These things increase your sense of responsibility.

When you do these basic activities yourself, it increases self-dependency means by doing these you are like training your mind for self-dependency which then builds a strong sense of responsibility within you. Your mind registers the thought that “I am capable of doing these things”.

A sense of responsibility is one of the crucial things to increasing mental toughness. When you build the habit of doing these basic activities yourself, it makes you self-reliant, and self-dependent and increases your mental stamina in the long run. 


4. Self-love makes you mentally strong-

This is the most important thing one can do to become mentally strong. Self-love not only increases your mental toughness but also beautifies different aspects of life. 

Are you a best friend of yours? Do you love yourself? Do you feel peaceful when you are alone? think about these questions. In most cases, people don’t like themselves. they don’t like their looks, don’t like their personality that is the reason self-love is difficult for them.

Just tell me how do you take care of your home? Every day you clean all the rooms and throw garbage inside the dustbin, right! Similarly, your body and mind also need cleaning every day. The cleansing of body and mind increases your mental toughness.

For body care, you can focus on your diet. Eat only those things which are important for your body, and remove unhealthy eating habits. Do exercise every day, go for 30 min walk, increase the water intake, and eat 1 fruit daily, clean your body internally as well as externally.

This is nothing but self-love. This body is your permanent house because you will be there for 70 to 80 years so taking care of it, should be your first priority. Remove all the garbage from your body.

Similarly, you should focus on mental care, observe what type of thoughts you are allowing to enter your mind, and check your self talk what you are talking to yourself when you are alone. Because negative thoughts are like unhealthy food if you continue consuming these thoughts then you become mentally weak.

So make sure you read good books, watch good shows, listen to some good podcasts, spend time with positive-minded people, and do what you like in your free time it could be traveling, painting, listening to music, etc.

This is the best mental diet that improves your thoughts and self-talk. Once it is improved you automatically become mentally strong.

 Body care + Mind care = Mental toughness


5. Practice gratitude – 

Gratitude means the state of feeling grateful for what already you have. Instead of complaining, appreciate what you have. It’s a feeling of complete acceptance of your life. It is more than feeling thankful, it is a deeper appreciation for something that produces long-lasting positivity.

When you practice gratitude you actually divert the focus of your mind from negative things to positive things (from complaining to appreciation) which creates more positive energy inside your body and that energy flows through your mind and makes your mind stronger.

This is one of the simplest and easiest ways to increase mental toughness. Because this will change our mindset by increasing our resilience, bolstering our self-esteem, and helping us to see the positive side of any worst situation in life.

How you can practice gratitude? Just sit for 5 min every morning and think about all the best things you have in life and be thankful to god for that.

Eg – You have great parents who take care of you, you have a healthy body, your all organs are working for you, etc. thankful to god for all those reasons which then increases the flow of positive energy in your mind.

If you are facing any problem in life just be grateful that god-given you the ability to solve this problem because this habit of gratitude switches your mind towards a solution-oriented approach to any problem. This is a sign of mental toughness.


6. Come out of your comfort zone – 

This is one of the difficult things to do because it is our natural tendency to live life in our comfort zone, we don’t want uncomfortable situations. But life is exactly the opposite of it, it is completely uncertain nobody knows what will happen tomorrow. It is full of ups and downs which means life is uncomfortable.

The ultimate truth of life is, ‘You grow when you kick yourself out of your comfort zone’. we can call it the growth zone or uncomfortable zone in which you have to face problems and difficult challenges. when you conquer these challenges your mind becomes stronger and stronger.

But it is very difficult to push yourself out of your comfort zone, it needs a lot of courage and a strong mindset. Now the question is how you can do that. see for example – if you are working on a big project which is completely new for you, definitely this will make you uncomfortable.

What you need to do in such a situation is just break down this difficult big project into small tasks and then start working on those small tasks. With the completion of every small task, your confidence will increase and your mind will register the thought that it is easy to do difficult tasks.

By following this habit of breaking down big problems into small parts and then go for a solution, your mind easily comes out of your comfort zone and switches towards problem-solving. This makes your mind strong enough to handle uncomfortable situations in life.


These six habits are very powerful to build a strong mind because they all are linked to emotions and if something is related to emotions then it has a great long-lasting impact on our mind. Initially, you feel difficulty implementing these habits in daily life but with practice, you can do it easily.


Conclusion – 

Becoming mentally strong is a journey that requires consistent effort and dedication. It involves developing resilience, cultivating a positive mindset, managing emotions effectively, and embracing change.

With the right mindset, strategies, and support, anyone can become mentally strong and overcome life challenges with grace and ease. Remember mental strength is not something that you are born with, but rather it is something that you can develop and strengthen over time.

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